Excerpt

Stand on Solid Ground

Understand and Apply Your Values

With so many people depending on us, it’s hard to find the time to get to know ourselves—but find the time we must. Since time is limited, it’s important to use that time wisely. That is why I’ve created this quick chart to help you clarify your values and find out exactly where you stand and what you stand for.

Why values? You must know the values you stand for if success and, more importantly, happiness are important to you. Most of us are not clear about our values and we flounder when opportunities come our way. We ask ourselves, “Should I do it or not?” After all, as Wayne Cotton says, “If you know what you want, you can say no to what you don’t want.”

But how can we tell the difference if we don’t know the difference? When we are clear about how we see ourselves and the values we operate under, making decisions is easier, quicker, and more beneficial for all involved. Make a list of all the things you find value in, in your home and work life, so that decision-making becomes easier and more satisfying. Below are a few examples of values you might find important:

Achievement Involvement
Friendship Responsibility and accountability
Physical challenge Country
Advancement and promotion Job tranquility
Personal growth Security
Adventure Creativity
Having a family Knowledge
Power and authority Self-respect
Affection (love and caring) Decisiveness
Charity Leadership
Privacy Serenity
The Arts Democracy
Helping society Location
Public service Sophistication
Challenging problems Ecological awareness
Honesty Loyalty
Change and variety Stability
Independence Economic security
Quality Market position
Close relationships Effectiveness
Influencing others Meaningful work
Quality relationships Supervising others
Community Efficiency
Inner harmony Merit
Time freedom Cooperation
Competence Ethical practice
Integrity Money
Religion Truth
Competition Excellence
Intellectual status Nature
Reputation Wealth
Recognition (respect from others, status)

Getting on Solid Ground: Simple Steps

  1. Choose 20 values from this list and feel free to add your own.
  2. Whittle it down to your top ten, then your top five. Now when making decisions daily on your home and work life, reflect on your list. The truth is that when your life feels out of balance, it means you have made priorities that do not match the values you have set for yourself.
      This list-ticking may take time at first—and practice.
      But don’t all good habits?
  3. Now: in just three minutes, write down the answers to this question, “What do you want to experience in your lifetime?” Don’t dilly-dally; do this rapid-fire, no logic, don’t over analyze, just write what comes to mind—and heart.
  4. Now sit back and look at your list and compare it to your Top Five Values List. Is there conflict between them, or do they align? Do you feel like you are trying to angle park in a parallel universe?
  5. The Test: for the next three days, make all of your decisions based on your Top Five Values. This will be challenging. Notice how much more balanced your life feels.

Note to Self:

You do not need to have the same Top Five Values as your spouse or your kids; they should, however, be in the same ballpark.

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